Australia: Flashdance

If you've never had the opportunity to watch Center Stage, then you are missing out on a true American classic that's in the same echelon as Flashdance and Dirty Dancing. You must go to Blockbuster and rent it immediately. I own the DVD and I've only watched it about a thousand times. Every Monday night my new friends - Nikki (monkey nuts), Nokomi (fat slut), Jenny (dyke) and I (dumb Yank) live out our own Center Stage moment at a Broadway dance class. It is the most fun I've had since my Bollywood class in India - way better than sex. The exhilarating class is an hour long and you jump right in dancing to catchy showtunes like Grease Lightning and Fame. The class moves at breakneck pace, a constant reminder of my atrociously apparent lack of rhythm, and you learn the steps as you go. Then half-way through, the instructor teaches you the choreography to a new song each week. Last week it was the theme song to Flashdance [What a feeling! Bein's Believing! I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life...] I know everyone of you reading this just sang that song in your head, didn't you? Admit it.

We learned all the steps Irene Cara danced to in the audition scene. The steps go something like windmill, windmill, step, kick, turn... Oh what a feeling! The pure jollification of happy showtunes! This week it was a number from Chorus Line. Then on Wednesdays we will start attending the Jazz Hip Hop class. We are also looking into a Bollywood dance class but haven't found one yet. By the time I'm done in Australia, I might be good enough to dance backup on Broadway! Ok not really. I'm the one who's always off by half a beat - turning at the wrong time and stepping on everyone's toes - while the class is dancing in rhythmic unison. It's supposed to be a BEGINNER class! Those bitches are such show offs. Nevertheless, it's FANTASTIC having girls as new friends - Ben would rather "grate [his] balls with a cheese grater" (his words) than take a dance class with me. The girls and I even had a slumber party over the weekend with a Bollywood movie (Bride and Prejudice), a game of scrabble, and popcorn with M&Ms.

Between my daily job search, dance classes, book club (yes I just joined one), playing tourist/posing as a local, and meeting new friends, Melbourne is beginning to feel like home. I am having such a blast that I am starting to forget what's his name. God what IS his name? J...J...Jimmy? No that's my ex-husband...Jekyll? No that's Mr. Hyde...Justin? No that's JT as in Timberlake...Joseph? No he's busy fathering Mary's illegitimate child (virgin my ass)...Drawing a blank here...Even though it's only been a few weeks on my own, I can vaguely remember bits and pieces....skin and bones...receding hairline...pencil dick...wreaks of curry...loves strippers...shits on skis...It's slowly coming back to me...Wait, I got it! It's JAFAR with a J!!! Yes! I love you, Jafar with a J - my future husband #2! Or is it #3? I can't keep track these days.


Pictures: Ben (the other Ben) is visiting this week so we spent Sunday driving around Williamstown, a cute little town by the water reminiscent of Sausalito.