India: Language and Culture 101

Today I'm teaching you a few Hindi words and some Indian customs and gestures I've learned so far.

• Upon greeting an old friend or meeting someone for the first time, you slightly bow your head while pressing your hands together in a prayer position (called Namaste) at your chest level.
• If you're greeting an elderly or someone you hold in high esteem, you kneel down and kiss their feet to show your utmost respect. I have yet to try this as feet are not really my thing.
• When you are talking to an Indian person and they are cocking their head from side to side making a horizontal figure 8, it means they are in agreement with you. It's the equivalent of us nodding our heads. This was a bit confusing at first because it may appear that they are shaking their heads at you saying no when in fact they are saying yes.
• When entering someone's house or a place of business, it's customary to remove your shoes outside the front door and walk in bare foot.
• If you are walking around with your significant other of the opposite sex, you should not hold hands or touch each other in any way as PDA's are highly inappropriate. However, you will see a lot of guys holding hands, but they are not gay - they are just very good friends. Two guys holding hands: A-OK. Guy and girl holding hands: Not OK. OK?
• If you look different from them in any way, shape or form (as it's tres difficile to conceal the fact that I'm Chinese), Indians will have no problem staring at you. Everywhere I go, they stare me down as if I'm Joseph Merrick the Elephant Man. Don't get frustrated or angry or vindictive like I used to. They're just not used to seeing anyone who's not Indian, so I guess staring is within their code of decorum. It's best to ignore and laugh. Or do what I do and say in your best Indian accent, "Whart ahrrr you loookhing ahrt, Raj?"
• Holding one arm out with your forearm parallel to your chest and a closed fist, shake it horizontally two three times. And you have just flicked someone off. Try it next time you come to India and see what happens!

Here are a few Hindi words to start with (OK some are not all that useful but fun nonetheless):

• Salaam - Greetings! You may use this when pressing your palms together as mentioned above.
• Aujo - Goodbye
• Baba - It literally means father, but it is more of a term of endearment. If you're male and trying to get a rickshaw or browsing at a store, the driver or shop owner may address you as "Baba."
• Buss - Enough! This is especially useful when doting aunties and grandmas keep adding food to your plate. Just say, "Buss buss buss!" and hopefully they'll comprehend that your stomach has reached beyond its human capacity.
• Saru - OK
• Chupple - Flip flops
• Panni - Water
• Ake Minute - It literally means "one minute" but you use it when you want someone to wait a sec.
• NRI - Non-Resident Indian. This applies to any persons of Indian descent living outside of India.
• Shanthi - Peace out brotha! Well, ok, it just means peace.

And that wraps up our lesson for today. I realize it's not much but it's more than what you knew before reading this, isn't it? Shanthi Shanthi...