Australia: Long Black or Flat White

A long black may sound like something out of a porn flick, but it is actually a type of coffee you order when you step into a cafe. If you try to order by saying "a venti coffee" like American Brian did when he first arrived, it will have the same effect as saying "a large food and a small beverage." You will inevitably be given a weird look and then asked, "What kind of coffee?" (American Brian cracked under pressure and ordered a hot chocolate instead.)

Melbourne has a very prevalent and perhaps snobby coffee culture, which I was quite surprised to discover upon arrival. Streets are lined with fashionable cafes; walking from my house to the train station, I pass by six cafes every morning in just one block. Melburnians take their coffee very seriously. It is not uncommon for someone to have their own espresso machine (our house mate Ben has his imported from Italy). It is never brewed coffee but espresso served in a variety of ways. Trying to find a cafe that serves brewed coffee here is like needle in a haystack or coffee bean in marbles. Coffee art is also popular (made by pouring the frothy milk to form objects as shown on pictures) and shows off the artistic skills of a barista.

To arm you with coffee knowledge so you don't end up like American Brian on his first order, here's a brief description of the possible choices of coffee you can expect to find at any cafe (copied verbatim from this poster I found):

• Espresso/Short Black - A short black coffee (30ml) with a thick golden layer of 'crema' served in a demitasse cup.
• Hot Chocolate - A sweet rich chocolate indulgence to which freshly steamed milk is added & topped with freshly whipped cream or froth, served in a long glass.
• Cappuccino - Normally 1/3 espresso to which freshly steamed milk with a mountain of thick dense foam is added, served in a cup & dusted with chocolate powder.
• Long Black - Half a cup of hot water to which two shots of espresso are added.
• Flat White - A shot of espresso (30ml) to which freshly steamed milk with a small amount of foam is added & served in a cup.
• Short Macchiato - An espresso (30ml) stained with a dash of hot/cold milk.
• Caffe Latte - A double shot of espresso (60ml) to which freshly steamed milk with a small amount of foam is added & served in a glass.
• Babyccinos (not on poster) - Frothy steamed milk served in a tiny cup that moms can get for their babies. A personal favourite.
  

I was never much of a coffee drinker aside from the occasional visit to Starbucks back home. But many meetings here - social and business - are conducted in cafes, so I've learnt to adapt without even stepping foot in a Starbucks. I usually go with a weak skinny cappuccino (less espresso with skim milk) or a skinny chai latte with cinnamon and honey wherever chai is served. With local cafes getting most of the business, it is no wonder that Starbucks is closing 61 of 84 stores here in Australia because frankly, there's just no demand for it. Australia's coffee aficionados like to taste their coffees, not syrupy [insert fruit] creme frappuccinos with extra whipped cream that is signature of the Seattle chain (which I have to admit - I do love a Green Tea Frap). Perhaps Starbucks should have conducted better market research before trying to introduce a European cafe culture where it already existed unlike the U.S.