RV DAY 38: WILDLIFE REPORT AT GLACIER

Campers, wildlife have been spotted at the Glacier National Park and here is my full detailed report. This is highly classified so read at your own risk.

Location: Glacier National Park in Montana, US and Alberta and British Columbia, Canada

Description: This park is also known as Waterton-Glacier International Peace Park World Heritage Site. Waterton and Glacier are two parks along the US-Canadian border linked by the respective governments as the world’s first international peace park in 1932. I smell suspicious government conspiracy activity here, but I have not figured out exactly what they are conspiring against.

Subject Spotted:

1. 1 black bear of dark brown color off the side of highway 89 before the Many Glacier Entrance

2. 2 blonde grizzly bears from across the Many Glaciers Lake – the first blonde bears we spotted thus far
3. 1 moose, 1 elk and 1 unidentifiable very fast orange red deer-like subject on the Swifcurrent Nature trail (I suspect it is a deer)

4. 3 bighorn sheep and 2 mountain goats on Going-to-the-Sun Road at sunset

5. 1 grey wolf running somewhere in the mountains but exact location is a bit hazy, maybe not even at this park
6. 1 bald eagle flying in the sky, also forget which sky
7. Bison aka buffalo – not found as they do not live at Glacier – you need to go to Yellowstone where you will find yourself tripping over them

Subject Survival Guide:

1. Do not approach subject or feed them – all wildlife can be dangerous. An elk or moose can charge you at 40 mph if they feel threatened, especially during elk rutting season in September. You need to be at least 100 yards away from bears and wolves and 25 yards away from all other wildlife.

2. Do not run or make sudden movements. This may cause them to attack and you cannot outrun them. Bears can run at 35 mph.
3. Store all food, containers, cooking equipment in your vehicle. Bears can apparently even smell water bottles.
4. Talk loudly, sing, or clap on a hiking mission, especially when approaching a blind corner. This will help scare the subject away or you might end up surprising him which is never a good thing.
5. Always carry bear spray on a mission. Bear spray is not like bug spray – it is NOT a repellant. I repeat, bear spray is NOT a repellant. Do not spray on yourself or on your gear / tent or you will be sent to the emergency room (this has happened to other touring officers before). Bear spray is meant for the subject if he is about to attack you. Be mindful of the wind direction – it is supposed to spray 20-30 feet but if the wind is blowing towards you, then you need to move closer (about 15 feet) to the subject.
6. If you find yourself under bear attack and you do not have bear spray, DON’T drop your pack and run or climb a tree. Subject can outrun and outclimb you. Lie down on the ground with your face down and leave your backpack on to protect you. Put your hands on the back of your neck as this is usually the first place the subject will attack. Then live to tell about it.

7. This warning is straight from General Justin: Always take someone slower than you on a mission. If you are trailed by a subject such as a mountain lion as he has in the past, take off and leave the slow fat kid behind. I suspect this is why parents camp with little kids.

Where to Hunker Down for the Night:

1. Johnson’s Campground at St Mary on the east side of Glacier: $27/night for an RV site or $40/night for full electrical and water hookup.
2. Swiftcurrent Lake Lodge which [allegedly] inspired the haunted hotel in The Shining “Redrum…redrum…” Rooms are expensive but very simple like a convent or dorm room.

Where to Fuel Up Before Your Next Mission:

1. Johnson’s Café: A rustic little café; the Daily Special is a great deal at $15.95 – especially for you meatetarians. We got the trout “family style” which comes with fresh baked bread, soup, coleslaw, and a baked potato the size of your head. You cannot split a plate so you end up eating enough to hibernate for the winter – this is especially good for long and dangerous missions.

2. Park Café: A hippie café with 20 pies to choose from – all the fruit pies plus Peanut Butter, Boston Cream, Chocolate Mousse, etc. and it is the best pie you’ll ever taste! We shared the Razzleberry (raspberry, blackberry, and huckleberry) and the Strawberry Rhubarb a la mode. Go early as many of the pie choices are sold out by the afternoon, and there is a line even at 9:30 at night. Have a slice before your next mission as it may be the last pie you ever eat.

Missions Accomplished:
1. Drive along the Going-to-the-Sun Road, a 50-mile scenic windy road that stretches from the east side of the park at St. Mary to the west entrance with tons of glacier vista points. This is where we spotted subjects bighorn sheep and mountain goats roaming on the highway.
2. Hike the Pitamakan Pass trail at Two Medicine Lake, have a picnic lunch and walk on glaciers. Then take the scenic cruise back ($5.50 / person).

Missions Not Attempted:
1. Fishing at the Medicine Grizzly Lake, Lake Evangeline, Oldman Dry Lake, and Hidden Lake. We actually didn’t fish there but we were told that’s where good fishing is.
2. Horseback riding, whitewater rafting, backcountry camping, mountain biking.

Wildlife report complete. Next stop: Jasper and Banff. Over and out.