Misadventures Around the World: Australia: Happy ANZAC Day!

This past Friday was a national holiday known as ANZAC Day where 35,000 gathered at the Shrine of Remembrance in Melbourne for the Dawn Service. We considered attending but the thought of waking up at 5am was enough to squash that idea. According to the Australian War Memorial website, "ANZAC Day – 25 April – is probably Australia's most important national occasion. It marks the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the First World War. ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. The soldiers in those forces quickly became known as ANZACs, and the pride they soon took in that name endures to this day." Like our Memorial Day, ANZAC day is a great way for Aussies to get together with families and friends by a weekend getaway or barbeques and playing Two-Up (a traditional gambling game where you toss two coins and wager on either Heads or Tails.)

Our friends from Sydney - Yamen and Jo - came down to Melbourne for work and stayed for the holiday weekend. We started our own celebration with Bingo night (definitely not your granny's version) where you win tens of dollars worth of crap. Every time a certain number was called, we had to say a funny corresponding phrase. For example, when a number ends in 0, we raised our glasses and said "Cheers!" When there is a 2 or 22, we quacked like a duck. 72: "The old lady can't keep her poo!" 73: "The old lady can't keep her wee!" And so on. Ben even got to be a contestant for Wheel of Fortune and came home with the big prize of a gaudy fish lamp which complements the Tibetan rug in the living room quite well.

Bingo was then followed by a visit to Spearmint Rhino, a world-renowned gentlemen's club with locations in the UK, North America, Australia, and New Zealand. [Little side note about strip clubs: Justin is a strip club aficionado who has been to over 50 around the world and desires to marry a stripper. I went to my first outing to Mons Venus eight years ago in Tampa and have frequented many more since. The first time Justin and I hung out when we had a business meeting in San Francisco, I took him to the Gold Club and got us all in for free. He must have fallen in love with me back then. As you can see, strip clubs have a special place in our hearts.] With an affinity towards tits - big, small, fake, or real - Jo and I received a couple lap dances for 50 bucks a pop while the guys watched. One was from our favorite stripper by the name of Melody whose skin was as soft as a baby's butt. We couldn't stop touching her even when she reprimanded us and said I had "naughty hands." Hey it's not my fault her boobies fell right into my palms! Justin stood by the bar and after multiple advances, finally caved in to a hot stripper who was leaving for the night - and yes I paid for his lap dance as any good girlfriend should. The rest of us sat around the stage making those bitches work for their strip dollars. We all left around two but Ben stayed until closing...ironic considering he kept saying how degrading it was for the strippers but wouldn't discuss what didn't happen in the champagne room. I don't think it's degrading at all - we're merely helping them with their law school / single mother funds.