Love is in the air...and puke is in my mouth

This entry is dedicated to Justin's friends in Pittsburgh whom we visited this past week and have become my friends as well, or at least I'd like to think so. They have requested for more scoop on Justin on my blog, so I've decided to write a little something about our relationship which I am sure will either appall or horrify.

Even though we fight all the time, Justin and I actually get along extremely well. That's because our fights are always light-hearted with copious name calling; we've never had an actual fight where we are not laughing our asses off or throwing insults like air kisses. Since neither one of us is remotely PC, the names we call each other almost always involve anatomy parts and racial slurs. Below is a typical dialogue between the two of us on a daily basis that will give you a glimpse of our atypical relationship:

E [cooking in the kitchen]: Hey would you mind getting an onion from the garage?

J [lying on the couch]: You're closer so why don't you?

E: You lazy son of a bitch! I'm making lunch for us.

J: But I'm picking a show for us to watch on TV.

E: If I have to get those onions myself, I'm going to rub your sandwich on my bare ass before serving it to you.

J: You can suck my dick while you're at it.

E: I would if I could find it.

J: You cunt.

E: Go get the f**king onions already.

J [returns from the garage with onions and kisses me on the neck]: Here you go baby.

E: Now drink this tea I made.

J [takes a sip]: Thanks. It's almost as good as my tea.

E: You're welcome. I spit in it for extra flavoring.

J: You goddamn bitch.

E [accidentally smells his armpit]: Whatever curry breath. And why do you Indians always have the worst BO?

J: Open your eyes you chink. I smell like flowers.

E: I am so leaving you when you lose all your hair.

J: I am so leaving you when you get fat.

E: That'll never happen. You, on the other hand, are a lost cause. You're on a downhill slope to No Hair Land.

J: OK please don't leave me. You're my favorite. I love you sooooo much.

E: No YOU are my favorite and I love YOU!

J: Will you marry me?

E: Maybe. Now finish making lunch, you brownie.

J: Yes my baby, my pretty China doll.

E: I'm not from China you Paki.

Sadly I'm not exaggerating how offensive and crass our usual banter is with each other. In spite of it, he even manages to propose, insincerely of course, a thousand times a week. Sometimes I say yes, but mostly I say no. Sometimes we even set a date. (Mark your calendars for either 9/9/2009 or 10/10/2010 for our wedding extravaganza in India. Just kidding.) Makes me want to throw up thinking about us. But it's not like the first time I saw his hairy body or caught a whiff of his inhuman BO and felt chunks of vomit rising from my stomach. This is a different kind of nausea I'm feeling. I've never laughed so much or felt so much. When we are not together for even just a day, we miss each other. He gets me on a deeper level than I ever even knew was there - well, perhaps it was the drugs.

Nonetheless, our relationship has evolved from platonic coworkers to pen pals, from a fun fling to full-fledged romance to what we are now. We don't believe in soul mates, but how we make each other feel and inspire each other to become better versions of ourselves are enough for us to say, "We have found someone special." At least special enough that we are jumping into the next chapter of our lives with both feet to move to Australia for a year. We've gotten our Work and Holiday visas, secured living arrangements, and booked our flights. I know it will be wonderful and exciting. Not just because we'll be living in Australia with koalas and kangaroos, but we'll be embarking on this adventure together. No matter what we are doing or where we are living, having someone so complementing to you to live life with makes the journey infinitely more enjoyable and a little less scary.

Colorado: Racist Texans

Breckenridge welcomes tens of thousands of guests every week from all over the world, so chances are some of those visitors are, dare I say it, racists. Since I've always lived in metropolitican areas where diversity is not a four-letter word, I've never really experienced racism on a personal level. Of course racism is prevalent in all societies, but maybe I've always been blissfully ignorant of such an ugly thing in my life. Although it is apparent that the Breckenridge population is very white with some Hispanics and only a sprinkling of blacks and Asians, everyone is generally cordial with one another in this idyllic little ski town.

Last week during one of our regular cross-country ski trips, I had a subtle but nonetheless real encounter with racism. As we were skiing down a narrow trail with Justin ten feet ahead of me, a snow-shoeing couple stepped out of the trail to make way for me to ski past them. I thanked the man first but he looked at me and didn't say anything. Then I thanked his companion but this time I said it even louder. She didn't respond either and instead stared at me blankly. I thought it was a bit rude of that snow-shoeing couple to not acknowledge my gratitude with a simple "You're welcome" or even a nodd but didn't think much of it until I caught up to Justin. He said, "Those damn Texans are ruining our ski trail with their chunky snow shoes." To which I replied, "I know...but wait, how did you know they were Texans?" "Because they said 'Howdy' when I skiied past them." Hmm. The very same couple who completely ignored me when I thanked them were greeting Justin with a friendly "Howdy." I knew right away what had happened and said "What? They completely ignored me when I thanked them." "Well, of course. They are racist Texans and hate Asians!" So I did what any self-respecting minority would do and screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of the woods hoping they are not far behind, "YOU RACIST TEXANS!"

You may think I was being paranoid or jumping to conclusions, but I highly doubt it. Despite his half-brown heritage, Justin looks like a regular white guy while I am visibly Asian. Those two Southerners greeted whom they thought was a fellow member of their superior white race and snubbed someone of an inferior breed. I was perturbed but knew there was nothing I could do. Racism exists all over the world and deep down we are all a little racist and operate by our own prejudices we've developed over the years. So I guess the only thing I can do is the next time I see a Southerner, I should automatically assume they are racists and flick them off before they have a chance to snub me!

Note: For those readers who don't know me personally, the last sentence was meant to be sarcastic, poking fun that I would be just as much of a racist as my trail-ruining snow-shoeing cowboy-hat-wearing passive aggressive Asian-hating Texans.

Another note: We recently watched Romper Stomper on DVD, a disturbing Australian movie starring a very young and lean Russell Crowe about a gang of white neo-Nazis terrorizing gooks in Melbourne. I can't WAIT til we go there next month!

Pictures: Yukiko, originally from Tokyo, visited us from San Diego for the weekend and left us with a tiny snowman outside our house.

Colorado: When Visitors Come...

When you live in a popular vacation destination, visitors are bound to emerge in droves. We average about two to three groups a month which keep us busy but we love playing host. This past weekend my all-time favorite guests came to visit: my little sister and brother-in-law who plan their vacations around where ever I end up living.

After arriving late Thursday night, they went skiing the next morning with Justin as their guide/babysitter. I was unable to accompany them as I was still recovering from a bad cold. But afterwards we checked out the International Snow Sculpture Championship held annually in Breckenridge where teams from nine countries sculpt elaborate designs out of 10x12 foot snow blocks. (See left picture of China's creation which won first prize - GO CHINA! The right picture is Germany's sculpture which collapsed seconds after being judged. Click on the link to view the photo gallery of all the teams' sculptures.) We cooked dinner, watched Namesake on DVD (a sentimental movie about an Indian immigrant family that all first and second-generations can relate to), and were in bed by ten.

On Saturday morning Justin and I took the kids on their first cross-country ski trip. We taught them how to gear up, stay hydrated, glide in nordic track motion, use the fish scales on the bottom of the skis when going uphill, and hope for the best when going downhill. (Check out the money shot on the left of my sister falling. hehe) I even taught her how to use your pole to tap a tree branch above your head after skiing right past it so the snow falls on the person behind you. Her ineffectual attempt got snow all over herself instead.

After we exhausted them with skiing, we drove two hours to Glenwood Springs, home to the world's biggest hot spring. Our scenic route involved driving through and around the Colorado Canyon on one of the world's most expensive roads ever built (left picture.) Then we made our way to the Yampah Vapor Caves, a natural underground hot steam bath (right picture). After sweating in the 110-degree caves, we finished our eventful day with a hearty dinner and good wine at the Italian Underground. Sadly the kids left the next morning at seven which made me feel like an empty nester for a brief moment. But it didn't last long as we got ready for another ski excursion at Berthoud Pass before making our way to our friend's Superbowl party.

One interesting observation my weekend guests made was how drastically different my lifestyle has become from the last place they visited me in Tokyo where we were drinking and partying until the sun came up and ate ramen to cap off the "night." In mountain country, on the other hand, we were all in bed by ten so we can wake up early to go skiing - that's why primetime tv starts at 7 instead of 8. Well, when in Rome...